Considerations Before You Pick Up Your Smartphone Again

I dare you to count how many times you pick up your smartphone in a day. I’m not big on including a bunch of statistics in my articles, but just to save you from the pain, or the potential of a repetitive use injury, this research has already been done for you. According to the U.S. edition of the 2018 Global Mobile Consumer Survey by Deloitte, the average number is 52. Of course, that doesn’t account for how much actual time you spend altogether on your phone though (not to mention tablets or laptops).

So, you may be at the place where a lot of us find ourselves. You realize that what’s become so common and normalized in society has dominated countless hours and infiltrated our everyday lives ad nauseam to the point that it doesn’t feel so cool anymore. You may get unfocused, distracted easily and realize that the time-suck and amount of energy you spend is time taken away from the rest of your actual real life. It’s time that you’ll never get back for more enjoyable things because you spent those hours staring at a screen, scrolling and tapping.

Would you like to take control back and not feel that technology has made you somehow enslaved to a life of checking? If the answer is yes, then I have three helpful questions you can ask yourself before you pick up your phone again (after reading this article probably on your phone).

Most people would answer, “I just need to check something.” Go deeper. What do you need to check and why? The answers may surprise you.

For example, I was at a restaurant recently with friends and we were wondering how long it had been around. We all took our best guess and then we asked the waitress without using our phones to google it. She knew the answer. Yay! Who needs a search engine? But, then it turned into a conversation about the oldest restaurant in town and of course, Google would tell us. Twenty minutes after we found the answer, one of our dinner companions still had his phone out while the rest of us talked and enjoyed each other’s company. My point is that much like an alcoholic who picks up a drink, phones are easy to pick up, but can hard to put down.

If it isn’t necessary, then realize that you do have a choice and you can decide more about what you want the experience to be like before you pick it up. If you still decide to “just check something” then it maybe helpful to set your intention as to what needs to get done or a specific time frame before you do. Then, stop once you’ve finished it.

2. How do I feel?

Many people pick up their phones because of uncomfortable feelings. Feel bored? Go surfing on social media. Feel angry at your partner? Ignore them and pay attention to the latest App on your phone. Feel lonely? Text someone. Who cares what they are doing or that you may be distracting them?

If you’ve been to any bar in the last decade you’ve probably seen this next situation. Rows of single people sitting close to one another. Instead of meeting the person next to him or her via real life encounter, the person is looking down at their phone. Maybe it’s because they want to be left alone, but often people have told me they do it because of the social awkwardness they feel.

Humans are social creatures and it’s important to have real talk, touch and connection with others. Distracting yourself and ignoring uncomfortable feelings can really just be a way of delaying them and it’s important to navigate your social world even when it gets uncomfortable. To use your phone to get away from a feeling may work some of the time, but if you find that you are using your phone to avoid emotionally tense times, then maybe text a therapist instead of what you usually do so that you can address it or go see one via video or in person. The important thing is that you want to feel better and not create habits that are not in your best interest.

3. Where is the fire?

No, that wasn’t a three-bell alarm, it was just a notification. By design smartphones are meant to get us to pay attention to them and to respond, but is it urgent? Sometimes yes, but often times no and you can give yourself some time. After all, do you need to hear that ping and respond every time someone texts you in a massive meme-filled group chat or when someone responds to that photo you took of dinner last night immediately? Some people get anxious if they see notifications or hear pings and don’t respond right away. This is anxiety you don’t need in your life. It can be helpful to set your sounds, banners and any other notification settings accordingly so it doesn’t disturb you.

By taking these things into consideration and answering the questions for yourself, you can move forward with how best to manage your smartphone use, make whatever changes you want and I hope that in taking the time by reading this, I ultimately saved you a lot more to spend for a happy, enjoyable life!

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